Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
