I've blown a few things in my day
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
He called his prostate his "boner button".
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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