So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
