awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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