First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
