I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
