I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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