New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
