i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize
