Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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