Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
