When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize
