I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
