i was born a porn star she said
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
