we should wear snuggies to the strip club
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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