I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
