Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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