yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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