If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
