We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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