and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
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