on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
