who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
