Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
They took my balls.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
