Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
My day in three words: secret purse cake
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
