I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Randomize
