he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
