Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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