I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
i am craving dick and cupcakes
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
