why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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