i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
