He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Randomize
