If that was your dad, he is hot
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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