Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
