Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
