Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
