We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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