Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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