no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I'm both gender and math confused
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
