So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Randomize
