sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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