by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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