i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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