I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
