I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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