like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
not ubering you a puppy
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
