Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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