guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
