Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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