The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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