his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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