i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
