Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Randomize
