so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize
